Lost Love
by thewingedavenger93
Summary: Becoming a peacekeeper after the war, Shepard is left to travel the galaxy, solving disputes between races. Despite winning the war and being the beautiful Ashley's lover, Shepard misses someone who became MIA shortly after the last time he saw her. Miranda Lawson. What is he willing to risk to get her back?


Sunlight poured down into the small crack in the drawn curtains, spilling light across the pillows on the bed. Shepard's legs shifted under the covers as he rolled over and lifted his arm to shield his eyes from the sun. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to adjust to the light and eventually gave up, sitting up and avoiding the light entirely. He glanced back down at the pillows and silky white sheets and saw a head of tousled black hair, clutching a pillow tightly in her delicate but very capable fingers. He gently reached over and brushed the hair away, revealing the familiar, beautiful sleeping face of Miranda Lawson. His love.  
He smiled to himself and swung his legs over the edge of the comfy bed and got up, stretching. "Shepard." He heard a quiet whisper and turned with a smile, expecting Miranda to be awake but saw that her eyes were still closed. "Miranda?" He said gently, watching for a reaction.  
"Shepard." Miranda's lips didn't move this time and he scanned the room, seeing no one. He covered his ears, trying to block out the quiet voice but it was in his head, saying his name over and over, getting more and more frequent.  
Commander Shepard bolted awake, seeing the familiar grey and chrome walls of the Captain's Cabin aboard the Normandy. "Shepard, did you have another nightmare?" The same voice from in the dream. He turned his head and saw Ashley sitting on the couch near the bed, scrolling through a datapad. She set it down on the small table and glided over to the bed, sitting next to the Commander. He closed his eyes, trying to go back to the same silky white sheets, waking up next to Miranda. He felt a pair of hands, gently rubbing his shoulders but he knew they weren't the hands he saw holding the pillow. These hands seemed rough and unwelcome in comparison. He swiftly raised from the bed and made his way to the Captain's Cabin bathroom, leaving Ashley behind, he closed the door.  
He splashed himself in the face with cold water and stared at himself, mentally going through his morning checklist. 'I am Commander Shepard. I command a ship called the Normandy. I'm a galatic hero. I'm Ashley's lover. I'm a peacekeeper for the planets. I don't know where Miranda is. Quit fooling yourself'. He stared at himself in the mirror. An ugly scar, starting from his left eyebrow crossed his nose, ending at his right nostril. He stared himself in his icy blue eyes for a few moments before accepting the story he told himself and exiting the bathroom.  
"Are you alright Skipper?" Ashley was standing now, looking at the fish swimming around in the fish tank but turned her head to glance at Shepard for any signs of discomfort. Shepard nodded.  
"Just had that nightmare again." This was the same lie he told Ashley every morning that he woke up from the voice interrupting his fantasy.  
"You said her name again...," Ashley stared down at the small pad with the button to feed the fish on it. "Was she in the dream this time?" She asked, raising her gaze as she pressed down on the button.  
"I heard her say my name. That's all. She was with a rebel group. Attacking us." Another lie to save himself from the fight that was bound to follow if he ever uttered the truth.  
"It's just that you sounded so gentle...saying-,"  
"EDI," Shepard interrupted Ashley and quickly tugged on his N7 jacket. He glanced at her appologetically before exiting the Captain's Cabin, speaking with the ship's AI about their destination today.  
Ashley moved back to the couch located near the bed and sat down, lifting the datapad up off the table and scrolling through it again. She was searching through Shepard's email. She clenched her teeth, stsring down at the email that stared her straight back in the face:  
_Shepard,_  
_It's been a long time since we've spoke. Maybe I'm opening old wounds by just speaking to you but I just wanted to see how you were doing. I was wondering if we could meet? I'll be on the Citadel for the next few days if you're going to be dropping by. We have a lot to catch up on and I have plenty of stories to tell, as I'm sure you do as well. I really hope you can spare the time to drop by._  
_I miss you,_  
_-Miranda Lawson._

[MESSAGE DELETED]

Ashley sat back, dropping the datapad on the spot next to her and absentmindedly watched the fish swimming in the illuminated tank across the room.


End file.
